Friday, January 17, 2014

Three Subjects to Write About

I've been thinking about friends allot lately.

I'm so frustrated with Multiple Sclerosis.

I'm so desperate to find a solution to what I call my "Leaving The House Syndrome".  

So which has got me going enough to actually fire up the blog?  

Dun dun dun...

Lordy, there's a drunk idiot yelling in the courtyard.  

See how I'm trying to change the subject?  

I have two friends in particular who are constantly telling me what I NEED or SHOULD do, if I dare to say something about any sort of issue related to my difficulties in general.  For instance, my #1 favorite is...

Me:  Crap.  I forgot about the meeting.  OR

Me:  Crap, I'll never be able to remember that (if someone is giving me an address or phone number or whatever).

He/She:  You need to start writing lists. 

Some version of this, over and over again, when I am just imparting information.  I forgot. Enough said.  

Guess not.  It's so irritating and even insulting (after the 12th time), because it makes me feel as if I'm a complete idiot, because MY GOSH WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT???

The one friend who does this simply doesn't listen cause he's bi-polar and his brain is constantly buzzing.  I have to cut him some slack.  Plus he takes care of me by taking me out, or cooking, or giving me his change jar cause my check was short by $324.00 this month.  Making it so I could do my laundry after all.  He's great that way, but he also pats himself on the back for being so good to me, and he'll always say something about it in front of others.  In a humorous way and he truly is funny, but still.  One gets tired of being constantly thankful.  Doesn't one?  Maybe it's just me.  

The other friend who tells me tells me what I NEED to do or I SHOULD do that is trying to be helpful and she usually remembers the reasons I give her.  For instance...

Me:  I can't find my damn key card/bus card/credit card when I need it! (As I search for it frantically at the cash register/bus stop/apartment).  

She:  You need to get one of those things people wear around there necks that hold their ID.

Me:  I've tried that and I really liked it, but I can't stand the feeling of anything necklace-y around me neck.  

She:  Oh?  How come?  

Me:  The MS gives me sensory issues.  Like even after I take the necklace/ring/gathered waist pants, socks, bras, off, it still feels like they're still on me for hours.  And the more stressed I get, or overheated, the more I just want to rip everything off, even if it's just the necklace that's bothering me.  

She:  Oh.  That sounds... uncomfortable.  But promise me this... don't rip off all your clothes when you're with me, okay? 

She, for the most part, remembers and doesn't repeat annoying questions over and over again. 

She and I, and yet ANOTHER friend (yeah! Three whole friends!) went for a walk around Delores Park.  I tend to want to follow behind them cause I feel like I slow them down.  They tend to want me in front of them so they can keep an eye on me.  This particular day was very bad, so anytime I took a step sideways, one of them would say sharply "Where you going?" and I would say smart assy "I'm stepping aside so those people can PASS us!" and they would condescendingly  say "No, you're not, you were about to fall" and I would say, in a superior tone, "What, you think you can keep me from falling with just your voices?" and they would say, graciously, "Yes.  It worked, didn't it?" and I would step sideways again on purpose.  Cause I can focus like that... .  

Just keeping it real.

Another time, I told them how much I appreciated how they seemed to be able to make fun of the disease, rather than making fun of me.  Noticing it, but not making a big deal out of it with worry, pity or patting themselves on the back for helping me.  That it made a HUGE difference in my outlook on life every morning, feeling like a PERSON rather than a disease.  I'm way beyond the need to vomit it out verbally, but it still comes out in explanations of some of the stuff I have to do.  And she said "Well, it's not like we care or anything... we (and he jumped in and they said simultaneously), "just don't want to be the one that have to pick you up!"  

Just keeping it real and making me laugh.  How nice of them to take the focus off MS and onto my weight...


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