This post was written in April of 2008, when still in Idaho.
First I have to set the scene. In my effort to feel productive, I've been getting up by 8am for the last 3 mornings. This hasn't proven difficult at all, but about 5:30pm today, I needed a nap. I set the alarm for 6pm, just wanting a tiny, short nap - a power nap.
First I have to set the scene. In my effort to feel productive, I've been getting up by 8am for the last 3 mornings. This hasn't proven difficult at all, but about 5:30pm today, I needed a nap. I set the alarm for 6pm, just wanting a tiny, short nap - a power nap.
Next thing I know, it's 10:00. But, I thought it was 10am in the morning.
I lay there for several minutes, disgusted with myself, telling myself I
failed at my new plan to reform after just 3 days. Imagine my horror
when I got up and it was DARK. I thought I'd overslept that nite, into the next morning and into the NEXT night again!!
So to say I was disoriented is an understatement.
The next horrified thought was the dogs hadn't been outside for... I had to pause my panicked disorientation to do the math... from 5:30pm yesterday to 10pm "today".... 28 hours!! Does anyone know how difficult math is when one is mathematically challenged and had the grades to prove it, AND disoriented from taking a 28 hour long nap. AND with MS??? I swear MS took any ability I had with numbers. Clocks included.
The next problem was deciding what to wear when one is just GETTING UP at 10pm after a 28 hour nap. Regular daytime clothes or pajamas? While believing one's dogs haven't peed in 28 hours, which puts an element of HURRY into it?
Finally, I got outside with the dogs. Who oddly seemed more interested in the refrigerator than going outside after 28 hours of not peeing, which should have been my first clue. But I figured they must be disoriented too - they thought it was time for dinner. Which only makes sense, since supposedly they'd missed last nite's dinner and tonight's dinner was late. But still. One would think after not peeing for 28 hours, peeing would be priority. I certainly skipped my own need to pee, in my efforts to get them peed. I'm sure I've mentioned MS giving me pee problems. Peeing them first is how much I love my dogs. The sacrifices I make.
As I walked out to the field behind the apartment, wondering how in the hell I slept thru 3, yes THREE piercing cell phone alarms... one for waking up from the nap at 6pm, the wake-up alarm at 8am, AND the 3pm Physical Therapy alarm... I felt a WHOOOSH over my head.
The kind of whooosh you can both hear and feel from the air rushing by. Muttin ran to my side, whining. Since I was still in Disoriented Hell, I didn't pay attention. As I continued to walk down the field, trying to justify a 28 hour nap, and wondering if I should report such a nap to someone medical, since I blame MS for everything wrong in my life - Muttin continued to whine. Eventually I saw something out of the corner of my eye, above us, flying to the top of a telephone pole. The moon was bright, and with it reflecting off the snow, it was bright enough to see that it was a HUMONGOUS owl.
From the time of the first whooosh to the time of seeing the owl was walking the length between 3 telephone poles. I kept walking, watching both Muttin and the owl. The owl flew ahead to the next telephone pole. I stopped dead in my tracks, and called Jeffrey to me. This whole time, Muttin hadn't left my side and hadn't stopped whining. Now normally, I am Miss Fascinated by Every Single Move My Puppies Make, since they are so adorable, and would have noticed out of the norm behavior, but did I mention my 28 hour nap? I realized Muttin knew all about that owl, from the first whooosh to the 3rd telephone pole.
I started walking
again, cause I didn't want that owl to mistake me for a tree, by standing still. I wanted the owl to see me as the Protector of My Dogs, and I figured walking was the best way to
show the owl that I wasn't a tree, because being a tree would make it
okay to swoop down and grab a dog with it's wicked talons.
Notice how danger sharpened my previously disoriented mind... I knew the word for owl's feet.
As we continued to walk, the owl flew ahead AGAIN to the next telephone pole. It didn't care about my Walking to Prove I Wasn't a Tree impression. It was biding it's time. It was stalking us.
So to say I was disoriented is an understatement.
The next horrified thought was the dogs hadn't been outside for... I had to pause my panicked disorientation to do the math... from 5:30pm yesterday to 10pm "today".... 28 hours!! Does anyone know how difficult math is when one is mathematically challenged and had the grades to prove it, AND disoriented from taking a 28 hour long nap. AND with MS??? I swear MS took any ability I had with numbers. Clocks included.
The next problem was deciding what to wear when one is just GETTING UP at 10pm after a 28 hour nap. Regular daytime clothes or pajamas? While believing one's dogs haven't peed in 28 hours, which puts an element of HURRY into it?
Finally, I got outside with the dogs. Who oddly seemed more interested in the refrigerator than going outside after 28 hours of not peeing, which should have been my first clue. But I figured they must be disoriented too - they thought it was time for dinner. Which only makes sense, since supposedly they'd missed last nite's dinner and tonight's dinner was late. But still. One would think after not peeing for 28 hours, peeing would be priority. I certainly skipped my own need to pee, in my efforts to get them peed. I'm sure I've mentioned MS giving me pee problems. Peeing them first is how much I love my dogs. The sacrifices I make.
As I walked out to the field behind the apartment, wondering how in the hell I slept thru 3, yes THREE piercing cell phone alarms... one for waking up from the nap at 6pm, the wake-up alarm at 8am, AND the 3pm Physical Therapy alarm... I felt a WHOOOSH over my head.
The kind of whooosh you can both hear and feel from the air rushing by. Muttin ran to my side, whining. Since I was still in Disoriented Hell, I didn't pay attention. As I continued to walk down the field, trying to justify a 28 hour nap, and wondering if I should report such a nap to someone medical, since I blame MS for everything wrong in my life - Muttin continued to whine. Eventually I saw something out of the corner of my eye, above us, flying to the top of a telephone pole. The moon was bright, and with it reflecting off the snow, it was bright enough to see that it was a HUMONGOUS owl.
From the time of the first whooosh to the time of seeing the owl was walking the length between 3 telephone poles. I kept walking, watching both Muttin and the owl. The owl flew ahead to the next telephone pole. I stopped dead in my tracks, and called Jeffrey to me. This whole time, Muttin hadn't left my side and hadn't stopped whining. Now normally, I am Miss Fascinated by Every Single Move My Puppies Make, since they are so adorable, and would have noticed out of the norm behavior, but did I mention my 28 hour nap? I realized Muttin knew all about that owl, from the first whooosh to the 3rd telephone pole.
Notice how danger sharpened my previously disoriented mind... I knew the word for owl's feet.
As we continued to walk, the owl flew ahead AGAIN to the next telephone pole. It didn't care about my Walking to Prove I Wasn't a Tree impression. It was biding it's time. It was stalking us.
I tried to remember everything that I'd learned about owls, and realized it was next to nothing. The two things I did
remember created a quandary. One, they were wise, and two, they had good
eyesight. And I wondered if they had a good sense of smell, cause that
would sure be nice if they did, cause surely then it would smell the human protecting the dog meat puppies, therefore, it would be stupid to do any
more whoooshing anywhere near me and the dog meat puppies. So
the quandary was, if wise, surely it knew better than to do
anymore whoooshing and/or if owls have such good eyesight, surely it saw
that my dogs were too big for it's wicked talons. Right?
Or maybe, God forbid, in the things that I didn't know about owls, when I was supposedly learning about owls, IF I ever did learn about owls, but had forgotten, not knowing that someday I'd be stalked by an owl, maybe it was bigger than I thought it was, even tho it already was humongous, freakishly LARGE.
Jeffrey was scampering around like a carefree dog who didn't know he could be ate up at any moment, so I called him near, picked him up, and marched us home, the length of 5 telephone poles. Singing loudly, "Ahunting we will go, ahunting we will go, hi ho, the derry-o, a hunting we will go". Probably not the best song under the circumstances, but you try to find an appropriate song when you need a motivational marching song for deep snow while being stalked by a
Or maybe, God forbid, in the things that I didn't know about owls, when I was supposedly learning about owls, IF I ever did learn about owls, but had forgotten, not knowing that someday I'd be stalked by an owl, maybe it was bigger than I thought it was, even tho it already was humongous, freakishly LARGE.
 |
| (This is more like Jeffrey's world) |
Jeffrey was scampering around like a carefree dog who didn't know he could be ate up at any moment, so I called him near, picked him up, and marched us home, the length of 5 telephone poles. Singing loudly, "Ahunting we will go, ahunting we will go, hi ho, the derry-o, a hunting we will go". Probably not the best song under the circumstances, but you try to find an appropriate song when you need a motivational marching song for deep snow while being stalked by a
Normally, it's Muttin I have to pick up, since she is the rebel and will take off running, but she was still glued to my heels. In fact, she was so glued, she kept tripping me, her own version of kamikaze games she normally plays on her brother, throwing herself under his feet when he's running. Which made me fall twice into the foot deep crusty snow, with Not a Care in the World Jeffrey in my arms. Who would scamper off between falls, putting himself in, unbeknownst to him, danger.
We got all home safe and sound, where I finally realized that my nap had been from 5:30pm to 10pm of the same day, it wasn't the next day after all. My brain literally hurt. I fed the dogs. I decided to have oatmeal for dinner, just to play games with my head some more.
Amazingly enough, there wasn't much to find about Idaho owls. There is a guy doing research on voles, lichen populations, and voles use of lichen. This makes perfect sense... how owl research turned into vole's eating habits, as one would think voles are a owl's natural diet, rather than dogs. So to know about voles eating lichen seemed vitally important. Lichen being the mossy green stuff on trees and rocks. I think. As always, with the Internet, lack of knowledge on one subject just leads to lack of knowledge about another and I wasn't about to look up lichen. I was determined to keep my vole in check. (Vole being a kind of mouse. Not the mouse that does the clicking all over the Internet). Tell me how funny I am.
As I listened to the dogs, for the first time since feeding my dogs raw chicken, which is a whole nuther story involving Jeffrey's anal glands, I relished the sound of doggie jaws crunching on raw chicken bones. Normally, I cringe. And have bad dreams about bone splinters rupturing their little tummies. But tonight, I said "Take THAT, you damn chicken, oh thou, who art related to owls!"
And to think, not too long ago, I've had communion with wolves and ravens, as totems. At another time, I would have seen this owl as a sign of some sort, a message to my life. Felt wisdomed upon. Ha! From here on out, let it be known that owls are my enemy, and I shall speak to no owls. Or listen. Ever. I'll use my own damn wisdom thankyouverymuch.
Maybe researching owls who eat voles + who eat lichen + will lead to a = cure for MS. What other reason can there be for actual dollars being spent on such a study???
Originally Posted Thursday, April 17, 2008
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